In Their Own Words: Little VictoriesFebruary 17th, 2022
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"You’ve got this Jade!” I whispered. “No, I don’t!” she screamed.
That’s how the first two months of kindergarten began this fall, for our little Jade.
Every morning, at breakfast, her anxiety would start to rise, and every morning, I tried to keep my voice so calm.
Every morning the amazing para for the visually impaired met us at the front of the school...but Jade would cry and scream as if she’d never see me again. Then I would hand her hand to the para, or they would have to hold her, physically, and I would stand with a knot in my stomach as they walked away...feeling her fear. I would pray, “God, help her, calm her down.”
Once the gracious crosswalk worker reminded me, “She knows you love her.” “Does she?!” I would battle in my head. But I had hopes it would get easier...and it has.
After five months, Jade said to me one morning, “I’m scared, Mommy, I’m really scared.” I reminded her of her Shepherd, who will be with her all day, and care for her like a little sheep. She walked into school with no tears and even a little confidence, her chin higher than normal, and I was so proud, so thankful.
Little victories are what we call them around our house. The times she feels confident to ask for help because for years…she couldn’t. So, she wouldn’t. The times she trusts we will have more food when the box starts to empty. The times she falls asleep fast and sleeps soundly without nightmares. The times she laughs and seems carefree and unguarded. Little victories. This little girl—so weak when she came to us three years ago, afraid of her own shadow—God is healing. She is learning to trust, to relax, to be a kid. She is learning what a “family” is and that she is secure in our love.
Recently, I heard someone say that when they were deciding to adopt or not, they felt the Lord say, “You don’t have to do this, but OH if you do!”
We are experiencing this “but oh, if you do” every day now with this little girl. Praise God that he led us to her and has supplied strength to endure the hard and the painful. We’d do it a million times over.